Embrace It

I didn't even realize until I got on Facebook this morning. Today is Alex's birthday.

I met Alex last summer at bible camp. He was tall, lanky kid, all arms and legs. He had a sarcastic sense of humor, and loved to sing and dance with all his might. He was kind of quiet, but always made everyone laugh.

Last year today, I was at bible camp with Alex. It was his 16th birthday, and everyone celebrated with him. Kids blew up balloons and decorated the dining hall. A cake was made, and we sang. The love in that room was obvious.

A few months passed. And suddenly Alex was no longer with us.

A service team was visiting the camp to help with some much needed repairs. Alex was part of the group of local kids that joined them. One afternoon after a long few days of work, the kids took the team to swim in Lake Superior. The current came in, and two boys were lost in it. Alex left the beach in a bag that day.

I find myself remembering Alex today, on what would have been his 17th birthday. I only knew him for a few months, but the joy he injected into my life was apparent. His spirit was contagious, and the community felt the loss intensely.

The loss of Alex reminds me how short life really is. How fragile it is. And even more, how important is is to live intentionally. I find myself in tears today, just as I was the day he died. Life is SO short. And it can be gone in an instant.

I know I could live a long life, and die peacefully in old age. I know I could get in the car today and never come home. But however long I'm allowed to live on this Earth, I don't want to regret a moment. Not one thing. Events like this are hard to stomach, but I'm thankful for the reminder to live each day like it's my last. I need it, because I take life for granted. So I don't want to push the pain away, I want to embrace it.

So I wished Alex happy birthday on his facebook wall. I told him I remembered being with him last year and that party we had. And I embraced the pain.

DBlog Week Day 3: Diabetes Bloopers

For a full list of topics, click here.

I have done so many stupid things in almost 10 years of diabetes, it's not even funny.  Most of them just flat out make me angry, rather than laugh.  However, there are always a few...

Pumps are always good for a laugh. Recently, after falling asleep on the couch one afternoon, my pump leaped from my pocket, and wedged itself into the couch cushions to take a nap of it's own.  I woke up, but the pump stayed in the couch.  You can imagine how well that ended...

I have ripped my site out while sleeping more times than I like to admit.  Usually this happens when there's already a loose edge on the tape, and that edge manages to catch itself just perfectly on the sheet.  I roll over, and riiiiiippppp! This happened most recently on my honeymoon.

My parents cat has played with the tubing.  The tubing has caught on door knobs.  The tubing has wrapped itself around me in my sleep (and my husband).

This last summer at Bible camp was quite an experience.  I went tubing (in an inner tube, not to be confused with the previous discussion of tubing) on the river running through camp with the kids.  For this event, I clipped my pump up high on my body to avoid the water.  I didn't want to take it off because this was an hour without it, and I wasn't exercising, just relaxing in a tube.  When I arrived back on shore, I noticed a little wetness in the screen, but all seemed to be working just fine, so I went right on with my day.  Fast forward to 5am the next morning.  My pump is wailing at me with a nice "NO DELIVERY" alarm.  The water is now covering the screen.  This episode ends with a call to Minimed, and replacement pump on the way, and giving myself shots of Novalog until camp ended later that day.  Not funny at the time, but I managed to post about it on facebook when I got home and elicit a few laughs.

So there you have it.  There are many more stories to tell, this barely touches the surface.  Diabetes is always good for a laugh (at least in hindsight). :)